Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Christmas Wish and a bit about us



 So…I may be getting the hang of this internet thing…maybe too much.  But I thought I’d use this gift vehicle meant for good (internet, social media) to send out a Christmas blessing to all of you…friends and family…and give you a bit of info about the Adnams family.

First…a little about us:

Our Favorite Things:

Craig: teaching math (some days more than others), online games of Risk, playing with the kids, time with Jif, and anything on ESPN.

Jif: Homeschooling (some days more than others), Community Bible Study (best thing we do all week), time with Craig, and hot tea…to start and end the day.

Jake: His new ipod, his dog Bo, playing xbox with friends, playing basketball (that’s new for him), pizza, In and Out burgers and milkshakes, and Duck Dynasty.

Carly:  Time with friends…or her brother…or her parents…or anyone, horseback riding, surfing, any unhealthy microwavable food, anything with sugar in it, and Duck Dynasty.

Things we’ve learned this year:

Craig:  Life isn’t always like math…there aren’t always solutions.

Jif: The most important thing to nurture in the kids…a love for the Lord and for others.

Jake:  Doing what mom or dad asks the first time is always better than what comes after not doing it.

Carly: Make sure you add water when microwaving macaroni and cheese.

Common things heard around the house:

Craig: Don’t mess with the DVR…I am recording the USC game or the Steelers game, or the Yankees game...

Jif:  What?  Dinner?  Didn’t I just feed you people?

Jake: Mom…sorry I couldn’t come do the dishes, my clan was having a meeting.  (Jif: “You have a clan?”  Jake: “Yeah…on Clash of Clans”)

Carly:  Can I go to Justine’s?  Can I go to Amber’s?  Can you call and see if Madi can come over?

Here’s a link to our favorite Christmas song, by Third Day:
 

Our Christmas wish for you all:

That you would know how much Jesus loves you, what His coming to earth…pouring out His grace...means for you, and that you would know His peace and His presence now and always.

Merry Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Love,
The Adnams Family
Craig, Jennifer, Jake (14) and Carly (10)

 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

That nasty little fine line

It's really hard sometimes.

Hard to be a Christian in this world.  I remember when it was hardest for me...college.  I had been well discipled during my high school days...knew the Bible pretty well...knew how to have a quiet time, spend time with the Lord...had surrounded myself with friends who, for the most part, encouraged my walk with Christ instead of trying to derail it.  But then I went to college.

Now...I always blame my parents' divorce for my walk of darkness during those days.  And I still do, to some extent.  The carpet had been ripped out from under me a few years before and I had this inexplicable urge and desperation to find love and acceptance.  But also it was the first time that my faith was being challenged.  From all angles I was pressed, "Why would you believe that?"  Professors, friends, co-workers would look on me with such dismissive arrogance...like I was an imbecile.  The other factor was that college life was really fun... and really wild.  Everywhere around me people were having the time of their life...partying, making out (that's what we called "hooking up" back then...but it didn't necessarily include sex), getting drunk etc...  So I dipped my toes into it...sometimes that toe-dip took me waist deep.

I told myself I could go to parties...even drink a little...even kiss a few guys a little...and I really wouldn't be doing anything wrong.  And really...maybe I wasn't doing anything really wrong.  But I began this tightrope walk of trying to be a follower of Christ...I still really loved Him, even in all the questioning and ridicule....and trying to have a little bit of "fun".

And what I found was utter and complete emptiness.  I found that everything the world was offering and working double time to lure me into...was totally empty.  There was no peace, there was no love, there was no purpose in life.  Just dark emptiness.

The only joy or peace or love I found in those days was when I would get on my bike with my Bible in my backpack and go to the cliffs of Del Playa in Santa Barbara, near my home in Isla Vista...climb the fence that forbade anyone on the cliff...and sit with Jesus.  I'll never forget staring at the immense ocean...wild and powerful, yet spectacularly peaceful...how the waves would roll in...roll out...with such precision and mighty repetition..."I am still in control" He would say to me.  The sky was always colorful...pinks, reds, oranges, purples...swirling, glowing..."I really really love you." I would hear from Him.  Never any "How could you?" or "What were you thinking"...just..."Baby...you are mine and I love you.  I know there are so many things you've been hearing.  But you just hold on to what I have told you."  And I would weep.

By His grace I was able to leave that time and place with no permanent damage done...able to step back into a life that was on His path...with people, once again, who would love and encourage...not tempt, tease, and lead me astray.  Also by His grace I actually had a roommate that told me that I had brought her back to the Lord.  Only Jesus could do something like that...through my pathetic witness at the time, actually woo another soul to Himself...He's so amazing!

Looking back...here's what I've learned.  The world is out to kill and destroy...mock and ridicule our faith.  It's just a fact.  And the walk that Jesus asks of us is really not so hard and boring.  Yeah...he tells us not to get drunk, not give our bodies to anyone to whom we haven't yet made marriage vows, to not gossip and tear down, but build up others, to not dabble in the dark things of this world. 

But here's the radiant truth.  He tells us this because His way is so much better...more fulfilling, more life giving, full of more love and joy and peace...and the purpose He gives us is our "truest self" purpose...it's what we were made for.  He makes us our best selves...most fulfilling selves.  We have true fulfillment only in Him on His path.  It's just. a. fact.  And the joy and peace and love that we have daily...oh how glorious.  Are there hard days?  Of course.  But as believers we have the Spirit of the Living God actually living in us...did you catch that?  Living in us.  He is available every second...to come, fill, guide, pour out love...and He does!  He really really does!  He is definitely a gentleman about it...doesn't barge His way in.  But as we call...seek...He comes.  And oh the fulfillment He brings.

I feel bad for kids today.  It's exponentially harder to walk that fine line today than it was back in my day.  The internet, the sex (with all it's variations), the continued drinking (some things never change).  And for Christian kids...it's brutal.  How do you have any friends at school when you don't look anything like the others?  I know of many Christian kids who have had many lonely high school nights...left out...cuz they just don't fit in. 

Or they do fit in...which is even scarier.  How many Christian kids today are getting too close to that nasty little fine line, tripping and flying over it?  They call themselves Christians...are members of Christian clubs...but on the weekends they are doing all the deeds of darkness that their non-believing friends are doing. 

It does real damage.  Not only to themselves...but to the body of Christ.

It's hard.  I get it.  You want to fit in.  You want to have fun.  But I think what these kids haven't figured out is that only Christ's path works.

Here's the message: Christ loves you, wants and has the best for you, and His way is the only way to life.  It doesn't mean there won't be hard days...months...even years.  There will be.  But in Him is the only way to find life...purpose...joy and peace...and the love love love we all long for.  He has it.  He longs to pour it out on us if we would just open our arms to it.

Don't get too close to that line...it's really more like a cliff...on the one side is life abundant...on the other...is just emptiness and darkness.  Stay on the plane of grace and goodness and life that He has for you.  It's the only safe place to be.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Sometimes you just have to obey

Our church recently asked us to fast for a week.  We were to fast from some food item (sugar, coffee...whatever you really like and really depend on) and from non-work related media (television, radio, facebook etc.)  The pastor up front was really pushing this congregational fasting.  It was part of a church week of seeking the Lord.  They really wanted everyone (upwards of 10,000 people) to take part in this exercise.  He ended the explanation by saying, "You really will get out of it what you put into it."

That's when he lost me.

I'll get out of it what I put into it?  I see what he's saying.  The more time you spend seeking God in a week...going to the services they had each night, spending time praying when you're longing for the item you're fasting from...the closer you will feel to Him.

But...

I have fasted plenty of times and gotten nothing out of it.  I have ended the fasting period with nothing more than a longing for the food I've been missing or the television. 

I sat there and thought...I don't know if that's true.  Sometimes we just do something because God has asked us to...and that's all there is to it.

So Craig and I both decided to do the fast from media.  It was hard.  Instead of putting the kids to bed and watching our favorite t.v. shows, we talked...listened to music together.  It was great for one night, but by the end we were taking turns tempting each other to break our fast...sinners!  I can honestly say...I didn't feel like I got much out of it.  And I sort of made myself feel bad..."Well, maybe if I had gone to one of the services, or if Craig and I had prayed together instead of just being bored together...maybe I would have gotten more out of it."  That's probably true...at least a little.

We went to church the next Sunday and another pastor got up to preach.  First thing he said was awesome!

"Many of you have just come off a week of fasting.  And one day when you're sitting before the Lord He will say to you. 'Remember that time you fasted?  Here's what I did while you were fasting.'  And then He'll show you the amazing and powerful ways that God moved while you were simply obeying Him...fasting and praying."

It was so encouraging.  I don't think I was supposed to get anything out of it.  It wasn't about me...necessarily. 

See, there is a whole spirit realm that is more real than the computer screen in front of you.  More real than any matter or energy, any person or circumstance.  The spiritual realm is the most real reality. 

And I believe that amazing miraculous things go on in that realm when we simply obey.  This obedience doesn't just have to be in prayer and fasting.  Anything He's called us to do and we do it?  That's obedience.  Most of life is made up of moments of simple obedience...getting up and going to work to provide for our family, making yet another meal (didn't I just feed you people?), cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, being kind, resisting temptation...this is all obedience.  And many times we don't get much out of it in the moment.  It's just plain work.

The most powerful obedience is prayer...ok...and fasting.  But prayer is the most powerful thing we do all day.  But it can feel so simple, mundane...dare I say boring...at times, we don't feel or see anything come of it.  We even feel diminished or blown off a bit when someone says, "Wow...I'll pray for you about that."

But the reality is....

Mountains are moved, prisoners set free, sickness is healed, lives are changed.  I believe fervently that when we obey...we set in motion the power that raised Jesus from the dead.  No telling what amazing and spectacular things are going on...that we can't see. 

Occasionally, He lets us in on the miracles.  I have found this whenever I have diligently prayed scripture over someone...anyone.

I prayed a passage for six months over my sister-in-law and without telling the whole long story...there were changes in her and her relationship with the Lord that I wouldn't have dreamed of.

I have been praying specific verses for my kids...and I am seeing glimpses of what the Lord is mightily doing in them.

I have many times prayed different things for Craig...many of which, I've seen Him answer.

But even if I don't see the answer, I absolutely believe...God. Is. Moving. while I pray.

I think He moves when I homeschool my kids out of obedience, when I am kind to my wicked neighbor, and when I hold my tongue.  We don't always see it...we mostly don't get much out of it...but oh how He moves when we obey.  And that gives me motivation and encouragement to obey even when it's not fun or when I don't see or don't get anything out of it.

Sometimes we just need to obey.  It's what we tell our kids, right?  They don't get much out of it...and they certainly don't see the need for it...but they really just need to do it.

So do we.

Friday, May 17, 2013

This is God's Will for You

"In everything, give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.  The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." Mark 12:30-31

I think I'm finally figuring it out.  Only took 35 years.  Well...I think I've known this for some time, but somehow on this road of life, I lost my focus...lost my way...took my eyes off Him and put them back on me.

It happens subtly and sneakily.  The enemy is best at this...getting our eyes off of what life is really about and distracting us with...well...ourselves.

ME.

Really my worst enemy.  When my eyes are focused on me...it's horrible.

Insecurity
Discontentment
Jealousy
Grumbling
Complaint after complaint

It's enough to give you a stomachache...and high blood pressure...and...well, you name it.  We can die from a whole life's focus on ourselves.

I started a journey of thankfulness almost two years ago.  Didn't realize how far from having a thankful heart I was.  It started with God leading me to Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts".  She talks about counting the gifts...writing down all things big and small that God gives us...miracles, proofs of his love, things that we love...every day.  And there are thousands to count...sounds simple enough.

It is...but when you've cultivated a heart of self...it is hard to change it.  It's like you have to go through a sort of death before you can really have this new heart.

And the world is no help.  This human race is hopelessly self-absorbed.  And I hate to say it, but it must be said; The body of Christ is no better.  If you stop and think...everywhere, everything is nudging us to be about us.  Those of us who are Christian parents think, "Well...I am not about me.  I am about my kids.  Family comes first."  What a load of heresy.  First of all...who are we kidding.  We are about us when we are all about our kids.  It screams from Facebook and Twitter and Christmas Cards:  "Look at us!  Look what my kid did!  Look at what a great mom I am!"  I am sorry to say it, but I think we grieve the Lord more than we ever dreamed.

This year, it became so clear.  It was so simple...just the most famous verse in the new testament.  Just Christianity boiled down into two simple things:

1. Love the Lord with every single part of you...in any and every way...love HIM.

I think that means...He gets the credit...He gets my trust...He gets to receive my 1000 thanks.  I talk to Him all throughout the day...call on Him in weakness...praise Him in victory...soak myself, nourish myself in His word.  I walk through the day looking for ways to love Him...not me.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Here's the real rub.  People are annoying.  They are constantly in the way...not doing things the way I want them to...putting speed bumps in the middle of my wonderfully constructed plans.  But I think Jesus was giving us a hint at how we carry out this loving the Lord with everything.  We do it by loving the other humans...annoying as they are.  We try to look into their eyes...feel their pain...empathize with the fact that they are probably annoyed too...and we pour love on them.  Not too hard...really...a smile...a gesture of putting them ahead of us...waving them into your lane on the freeway.  Walking through the day looking for who I can love...where I can love someone else.

Guess what happens when we begin to practice these three things:

Thankfulness
Love God
Love Others

Our heart softens, changes, goes through a type of metamorphosis from the stone it was into a heart of flesh that the Lord can use...and bless.

When you are thankful and pouring out love...you stop worrying about your own situation...the stomachache slowly goes away...and somehow, though your life's situation hasn't changed a bit, your heart begins to swell with joy and peace.

It's so simple...embarrassingly simple...yet so true.  It really is the secret to life.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Joy pinned down

Standing at the kitchen sink, hands in soapy warm water, looking out to my green lush hedge that grows up the backyard wall, blocking the outside world, I felt a sudden surge of joy.  I felt it well up inside of me.  Joy wants to fill us from the toes up to the scalp and it calls up to the heights as if it wants us to go up to the heavens with it.  And the ecstactic feeling that comes...it's what makes life worth living.

So why don't I let it take me up to the heavens?  Every time I feel this feeling I also feel a tension.  A pull from me that wants to protect myself from traveling to the heights of heaven.  If I go there, I will be fully and wholly unguarded.  And then what if...

The fear is that I'll be soaring these heights of joy and then be stricken by some sudden catastrophe...some sort of disaster...even just the slightest reminder of humanness or the fallenness of this spinning sphere.  And if you are unguarded...then what? 

Suddenly that ecstatic feeling seems to mellow...your feet back on the earth of reality...and you've missed the moment to soar the heavens.

Why do I do this?  It's as if I believe if I keep my fists up...keep my guard...remember that life isn't this soaring, this bubbling of pure happiness and peace...that I'll be better able to fight the disaster when it inevitably comes.  But what I am really doing is picking up my favorite weapons, fear and dread, and trying to take them along with me on my joy-ride...in hopes that I can enjoy the ride, yet have the weapons if I need them.  Unfortunately, these weapons are too heavy to make the flight...so they pin my feet to the ground...my joy then is pinned.  And haven't I learned by now that these two...fear and dread...are terrible weapons...they don't fight my enemy.  In fact they ravage me.

Maybe the real secret is giving in to the joy.  Letting it take us to the heights, letting it fill us to the pont of pouring out in love and peace..fountains on the whole world... as we soar over all creation. 

Maybe joy is the weapon.

I know that darkness comes...always...for a time.  I know that there is real pain..especially for me, in this life, this crucified with Christ life, this life that no longer lives but gives reign to Christ living in me.  Jesus promised we'd have it...pain...suffering...darkness.  But maybe...in those times of joy...real joy...joy from Him...joy that comes not from doing good, thinking good, acting good, talking good...but joy that comes from Him.  Joy that comes because I've spent days, weeks, months, calling Him to come and fill, come and heal, come and live in me. 

Maybe this joy, when it comes, is not only the blessing, the ecstacy, but is also the weapon, the strength...that can face that dreaded darkness.  I am learning the He is the peace...maybe He's the joy too.  Maybe all this calling to Jesus has resulted in Him coming...He is calling me to flight.

I am timid to give in to it...give in to Him.  I've made a mastery of packing fear and dread in my backpack when joy wants to take me high.  It's hard to change the habit.  Maybe that's the next thing to ask Jesus.  Help me to give in to the joy...give in to Him...let Him take me high...to lay down the false weapons...to let joy take me in flight...take me to the heavens...and not be pinned down.  Yes, Lord, I believe.  Help me in my unbelief.