Alright....here it is:
Our Christian walk is not about us. It's not measured by how we feel...if we felt joy today then we walked closely with the Lord, if we were pissed and afraid, then we were far away from Him and not walking with Him. That's the heresy..plain and simple.
It's about loving others. It's about are we living the righteous path not because we are joyful and feel like it but because...what else are we gonna do...are we loving others and meeting them in their need with love and tenderness so that they can feel the hands of Jesus?
That's it.
It makes me think of how C.S. Lewis said, "I don't think God is particularly concerned with our happiness. What He really wants is for us to grow up! He wants us to love and be loved."
So if that's true, then He would never measure our closeness with Him based on our joy.
I do think that when we get to really dark places, we need to cling to Him...pursue Him...His word...others who will not try to fix but will bring us to His lap by just rubbing our head and saying, "Me too."...because while He uses those dark places...He would never want darkness to control us.
The discipline of going to Him when we're dark is where Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" comes in...naming the gifts, slowing the moments, remembering who He is. But I think the biggest mistake that many Christians make is that she thinks trust and clinging to God looks like joy and feeling good.
In my life, the closest I ever felt to Him is when I am just plain desperate for Him...I can't eat enough of His word, cause it's the only way to get the darkness to back off...and I cry and pray and try to remind myself of who He is...but it aint fun and it sure aint what I would call joy. On the contrary, when I am light-hearted, feeling easy going...lots o stuff going well...that's when I may be farthest from Him.
Funny.
I think those lovely old women at CBS who greet me each week with a warm hug, though they've never met me, may know the secret balance of the Christian walk. Remembering it's not about them...it's about Him.
